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Ilford Discussion board - Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
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   Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
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   Author  Topic: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.  (Read 903 times)
Trixies_Mom
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Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« on: Feb 4th, 2005, 4:21pm »
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1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
 
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
 
3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
 
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
 
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
 
6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
 
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
 
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
 
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
 
10. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
 
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
 
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-dissapoint-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
 
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
 
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
 
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
 
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
 
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
 
18. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
 
19. Procrastinate Now!
 
20. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
 
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
 
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
 
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
 
24. They call it PMS because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
 
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
 
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
 
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
 
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
 
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
 
30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
 
Works for me at any rate.. and up here, we can use whatever it takes to make us smile. =)
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The gene pool needs a little chlorine.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
Iain
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #1 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 5:31pm »
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Theres not much to smile about in life.....
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exab
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #2 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 6:15pm »
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There is Yan, just look around you.
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Yan
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #3 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 6:17pm »
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Im looking around me,just a room full of people who are just sitting at their desks waiting for 645/730pm to come.....
 
Give it till then and they will be rushing over to the pub!!!!!
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exab
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #4 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 6:21pm »
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If you sit there with a mysterious smile on your face and watch them they'll begin to wonder what you've done and they'll get quite nervous.If they ask you what you are smiling about just shake your head and smile some more.
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Eagles may fly high but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Trixies_Mom
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #5 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 6:26pm »
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Just say 'Well, hey.. if you don't know, I'm sure as hell not going to tell you.. '  or say 'You mean.. you haven't heard?'  and when they say no, just say 'You'll find out eventually'..
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The gene pool needs a little chlorine.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
Aussie_Pete
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #6 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 7:03pm »
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Some nice ones there PG. Will pinch a few and use 'em down the Pub this arvo...Pete.
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Gees it's hard to be humble.
Feenix
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #7 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 10:19pm »
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I didn't know sheltered workshops stayed open 'til 7.30 Yan you must be something 'special'.
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Bring back flower power(it's cheaper) !
Yan
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Re: Thirty lines guaranteed to make you smile.
« Reply #8 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 11:55pm »
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Yep,we were all good last week so they decided to release us and leave us out in the rain for half an hour,this week they are gonna beat us with sticks!.....
 
Feenix dont be an egit!!!!!!!!
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